Know Multiple Sclerosis

Most difficult part? Getting an honest line from the medical professionals. Nobody really knew how to 'cure' it so the snake-oil salesmen were out in force pushing mis-information. Ghaaa.

For me, it was not knowing. My neurologist didn't tell me anything, for fear it would stress me out. He gave me a bunch of valium to take - all I really needed was some honest answers. I feared the worst - something terminal. When I finally was diagnosed 9 months after my initial visit, it was a bit of a relief find out it was multiple sclerosis. At least I knew what I was dealing with now.

I am haveing difficulty dealing with not knowing the fate of my future. I see my children and it makes me want to cry sometimes. I want to always be there for my children, and it is scary when I think that someday I will disspoint them and worry them. I am so blessed that I have such wonderful daughters. I feel like I am letting my kids down every day, when they ask me to do something with them and I know in my heart that I can't. I sometimes try and I fail and the look on their faces tears my heart appart, sometimes they say something that hits me in the heart, but they don't mean it. Then they say there sorry, and I see it on there face. They are just kids, and I know they are going through allot, but I can't say it doesn't make me feel like I am letting them down.I feel like I am asking them for more than they barganed for exspecially my oldest daughter, I ask of her more than I would like, thank god she helps me as much as she does, but she is only a 9 year old little girl and she is not supposed to be worrying about mom. I do try my hardest to keep up with them and I think I do well, I just can not do as many things for long periods of time.Thanks for listening.